Sunday, May 27, 2012

Better Know Your Arnie: Jack

BKYA is a feature on this dumb blog wherein Jeff writes too much about a variety of his favorite beverage, Arnold Palmer Iced Tea Lemonade.

Well, I discovered this the other day:

OK, I'm not too happy about this. I like Jack a lot, he won his last Masters when I was 10 and it was pretty cool I remember. 

Also, he made this crazy putt at 70 years old with the Man right there watching:

If I made that putt I would throw my putter as far as I could, and quit golfing on the spot. Jack just sank it and moved on. So I don't want to say too much about this beverage. Because everything I have to say is not too good.

OK, a couple quick thoughts about it since I have this dumb blog:
  1. I think Arnie and Jack were talking and Arnie said how much AriZona pays him and Jack said "Aw, yeah, I want some of dat scratch!" (Jack does not talk like that)
  2. The can is horribly designed. It says "HONEY" all around the top and on the bottom. It does not taste much like honey, so I feel like they are trying to sucker honey enthusiasts. Poor bees.
  3. 70 calories per serving. An Arnie is 50, you have been bested by the Man again, Jack.
  4. There is no tea. It's just like weird lemonade
  5. The can is so gold colored, I kept thinking that it looks like urine, that's not a good comparison when trying to sell a beverage.
I should stop since I just mentioned urine. One final story: I bought that can at Walgreen's. Here is how my conversation went with the register lady (if you picture me with 11 month old Connor in a stroller, it sets the scene better):

Lady: Oh, one Golden Beer! (she does double take) Hey, we don't sell beer here.
Me: Umh, it says Bear, like the Golden Bear, Jack Nicklaus. 
Lady: What did you say? I thought it was beer, ha ha, it's not beer!
Me: Ha ha (this was a fake laugh), can I pay please?
Lady: I thought it was beer!
Me: Ha ha (this was the fakest laugh I have ever faked laugh), here's a dollar.
Lady: Oh, you're all set with your BEER, ha ha
Connor: Blurgh, da ma da fa

It tastes OK for weird lemonade, and that's the best I can say about it.

Jeff's Score*: N/A
Varieties: Who cares
Availability: N/A
Stores: Burp. Don't buy this.

*Jeff's Score is a weighted score where Regular Arnie is a 90, Redneck Arnie is a 20, the one Skinny Arnie I had that tasted like metal is a 0

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