Saturday, May 12, 2012

Better Know Your Arnie: Redneck Arnie

BKYA is a feature on this dumb blog wherein Jeff writes too much about a variety of his favorite beverage, Arnold Palmer Iced Tea Lemonade.

I call this one Redneck Arnie. Is my nickname, Redneck Arnie, offensive? Because this is Southern Style Arnie my nickname is Redneck Arnie. So Southern = Redneck. I think it might be slightly offensive.  But whatever, at worst I am offending actual rednecks, I can live with that. OK, let's get a closeup of the can:

Well, that's a crappy photo, it's not even in focus. I'm a real shitty blogger. Redneck Arnie is described on the can as "Half Sweet Tea PINK and Half Lemonade." Here we run into our first problem with Redneck Arnie. "Sweet Tea PINK". What does that mean? Is it pink tea? I assume they mean it is sweet tea mixed with pink lemonade. But "half lemonade" is in yellow and the "PINK" part is pink and with the tea part. So the can is very confused. Some free advice AriZona, un-capitalize that Z, also fix the can by giving "PINK" to the lemonade side, make that side pink and the sweet tea side some other color. Bam, fixed.

Also, you can kind of tell from my crappy photo, but the pull tab is pink too. It's the only Arnie with a colored pull tab. So while I am giving AriZona free advice, and since colored pull tabs are possible, make Regular Arnie's tab green. The Man did win four Masters so I think it would be nice.

The first time I got a Redneck Arnie, I was super excited. Heather and I went to go get a Slurpee (we do this a lot). I saw Redneck Arnie and ran up to Heather and said "HOLD THE SLURPEE!" I think at that point she questioned some life decisions that led to her being in a 7-11 and having her husband run up to her yelling "HOLD THE SLURPEE!" So I excitedly cracked open that first Redneck Arnie, took a sip and immediately thought "that's no good." It is super sweet and tastes much worse than Regular Arnie. Then Heather grabbed the can to examine the ingredients as always, and she said "This has a lot of calories." I snatched that can back and looked and it has twice the calories as Regular Arnie. Twice! It's because the tea is sweetened. So we have a not so good tasting beverage with twice the calories. I really wish we got that Slurpee.

One good thing I can say about Redneck Arnie is that there's a yellow lab on the can. I have a yellow lab.

Jeff's Score*: 20, don't you know how *'s work?
Varieties: The Can
Availability: Medium
Stores: City Convenience, 7-11

*Jeff's Score is a weighted score where Regular Arnie is a 90, Redneck Arnie is a 20, the one Skinny Arnie I had that tasted like metal is a 0

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