Saturday, April 28, 2012

Better Know Your Arnie: Peach Arnie

BKYA is a feature on this dumb blog wherein Jeff writes too much about a variety of his favorite beverage, Arnold Palmer Iced Tea Lemonade.

Bwoop, bwoop, bwoop. Oh oh, that's the Arnie alarm going off. We have a new Arnie flavor. I declare it Peach Arnie.

Bwoop, bwoop, bwoop. Uh, again with the alarm? Oh yeah we have a new Arnie size. 64 ounces. That's a nice size. It doesn't take up much room in the fridge.

When I first saw it, I thought it was the awful Redneck Arnie. The label looks similar. Then I saw it said Peach. It also says "sweet tea", so I guess it is a Peach version of Redneck Arnie. However, this has the same calories per serving as regular Arnie. Redneck Arnie has double the calories which is one reason why it is awful.

This one tastes pretty good. A little too sweet for me, but it's nice. I like it better than Diet Peach Snapple which is my preferred type of (diet) Snapple.

Jeff's Score*: 74
Varieties: 64 oz.
Availability: Low so far, but it's new
Stores: Roche Brothers

*Jeff's Score is a weighted score where Regular Arnie is a 90, Redneck Arnie is a 20, the one Skinny Arnie I had that tasted like metal is a 0

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Mighty Subs: Chicken Cutlet

I have made 12 posts to this dumb blog that nobody knows about, and have yet to have a true LTPOH entry. I've had two LTPOSS, but after the Burger of Death I don't think I'll be having LTPOSS anytime soon. So I decided to get a LTPOH. Not just any LTPOH though. It is one of my favorite LTPOH's from my favorite sub shop, Mighty Subs.  It is the Chicken Cutlet with LTPOH and mayo:

Looks good, huh? Also looks pretty big. Mighty Subs' motto is "Our Small is Their Large". That pic above is a large. A small is half of that. I think Mighty Subs should add a secondary motto. "Our Large is Your Lab":

That's a 75 lb. adult Labrador Retriever. The Chicken Cutlet is one of their most expensive subs, but that dog sized sub was only $10.15. I get 3 meals out of it. Since this is the first Mighty Subs post I should do a list of reasons why Mighty Subs is my favorite sub shop.

  1. Value. $10.15 for this delicious sub. That's on the high end for them. A large Italian is about $9.15. They also have daily specials where you get a small sub, a bag of chips and a bottle of soda for around $7 now. It was $5 with tax when I first started going there in 2001, but inflation is fine with me in this case. I like the Italian on Mondays or the Honey BBQ Chicken on Fridays.
  2. People Who Work There: They are the nicest, most efficient workers you could imagine. I've become too used to rude dummies at other sub shops. At Mighty Subs, they are super nice to everyone, and you will not believe how quick they make the subs. I love watching the gibberish Artie the owner writes on a ticket, then usually Karen translates it in 0.5 seconds. Sometimes I don't even have my money put away in my wallet before my sub is ready.
  3. Lunch for Breakfast: It annoys me you can't get lunch food before 11am at most places. Lunch > Breakfast. That's math. Mighty Subs opens at 6am and you can basically get any lunch sub anytime. You want a Steak Bomb at 7am? Well here's one in 2 minutes. 
  4. Quality of Food: They make their own chicken cutlets, chicken salad and other ingredients from scratch every day. So no Aramark pre-made chicken patty bullshit.
  5. Bread: Whenever I talk to my dad about good sub shops he always has to go on this long lecture about the most important thing with subs is the bread. Hey dad, start your own blog! But in this case he is onto something. The bread at Mighty Subs is the perfect type of bread for subs. Their bread works for both hot and cold subs, is always fresh, and is just perfect.
  6. Steak Subs: When I go to a new sub shop, I always test them by getting a steak and cheese with onions first. Mighty Subs dominated my test. As I've said before, they are super quick, which is a big part of my test. Ed makes the steak and cheeses, and the amount of time he spends shredding each one is quite impressive and another major factor in my test. My only complaint is I like a little more black pepper on it, but one packet of pepper fixes that problem. Also, I usually have to wait for it to cool down because they get it to you so quick!
  7. Soda Selection: They have Cherry Coke Zero, regular Coke Zero, Vitamin Water Zero, that's an excellent Jeff selection. If they had Arnies it would be perfect.

Anyway, if you want an awesome sub get the Chicken Cutlet with LTPOH and mayo at Mighty Subs. You can order it as "Cutlet with tha Wahks with mayo". And hey, if you don't like pickles, get it LTOH, if you don't like hots, get it LTPO. Just don't get it like the one guy in front of me got one once: "Chicken Cutlet with mushrooms, buffalo sauce and mayo". I almost left the line and didn't eat after hearing that one. Almost.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Better Know Your Arnie: Skinny Arnie

BKYA is a feature on this dumb blog wherein Jeff writes too much about a variety of his favorite beverage, Arnold Palmer Iced Tea Lemonade.

Skinny Arnie is the zero calorie Arnie.

I had my first Skinny Arnie on February 11th 2008 at 11pm. No, I'm not some weird Arnie documenting savant. Or, I should say not that much of one. It's just that I remember it was immediately after I finally watched the BC Eagles win the Beanpot. It was probably my 5th Beanpot final, the previous 4 times they lost. The one year I didn't go, BC won. So I was convinced I was bad luck. They finally won, though not against BU. I had to wait two years for that treat.  I was all excited after the win, I decided to walk back to my place. It's about an hour walk from the Garden. I stopped to get a beverage when I spotted Skinny Arnie. I was so excited. It's a zero calorie Arnie! I took a sip and it tasted just horrible, like metal. One of the major disappointments in my life. Eventually I tried Skinny Arnie again and it wasn't as bad and didn't taste like metal, but still not good.

That's a long way of saying Skinny Arnie is really bad. I bought one yesterday just so I can get this post over with. This blog has now cost me $1. I think I will monetize it so I can get that money back. At my current rate of page views, I should get that $1 back in 12.3 years.

OK, my complaints about Skinny Arnie:
  1. It tastes horrible.
  2. One of the best things about a regular Arnie is it doesn't have too many calories. The iced tea half is unsweetened, so you save on the calories there. The Can has a total of 150 calories. That's about the same as a 12 ounce can of Coke. The Can is 24 ounces. A Skinny Arnie saves you those 150 calories but tastes super crappy. Not worth it, I say.
  3. They put a younger picture of The Man on it. I find it insulting that they would do this for some reason.
  4. The packaging has dimples like a golf ball. Hey, AriZona Beverage Company, it's a beverage not a golf ball. Also, what's with the capital Z? That's dumb.

Jeff's Score*: 8
Varieties: The Can, Giant Arnie
Availability: high
Stores: most places that have AriZona products, though it depends on the stock. Also, that capital Z is really annoying me.

*Jeff's Score is a weighted score where Regular Arnie is a 90, Redneck Arnie is a 20, the one Skinny Arnie I had that tasted like metal is a 0

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Better Know Your Arnie: Tropical Non-Arnie

BKYA is a feature on this dumb blog wherein Jeff writes too much about a variety of his favorite beverage, Arnold Palmer Iced Tea Lemonade.

The Tropical Non-Arnie is half iced tea and half tropical. I assume that means half tropical juice. The ingredients say pear, pineapple and guava. All those exotic juices for only $1!

I call it Non-Arnie because the Man is not on the can. I hope Arizona still pays Arnie for these. He did invent mixing iced tea and juices and all.

Tropical Non-Arnie is also Heather friendly as it does not contain the bad fake sugar. She always grabs any new can, scans all the ingredients then if she doesn't see whatever she thinks is the bad fake sugar of the day, she says "it's ok".

I think it's a little too sweet, but still pretty good.

Jeff's Score*: 76
Varieties: The Can,
Availability: low
Stores: City Convenience, Tedeschi, Old School Pizza

*Jeff's Score is a weighted score where Regular Arnie is a 90, Redneck Arnie is a 20, the one Skinny Arnie I had that tasted like metal is a 0

Friday, April 20, 2012

El Pelon Tacos

Connor and I went to the Fenway open house the other day. It was madness. People were everywhere, lines were wihckad lahng. The people on the field looked like human cattle.

In contrast, Heather and I went to a Mother's Day open Fenway thingy a few years ago. We walked on the field and there were maybe 50 people on the whole field. It was fun, and we took a bunch of pics in the dugout. We walked up to a table and Mark Kotsay was there signing things. We got an autograph and I said "Hey, good luck this season Mark!". He was released a month later.

Anyway, Connor and I went to El Pelon. I decided to branch out and get tacos. I got the Americanos which I think means "awesome order".

It is two chicken tacos with lettuce, salsa, cheese and sour cream: a true awesome order.

Better Know Your Arnie: Asian Arnie

BKYA is a feature on this dumb blog wherein Jeff writes too much about a variety of his favorite beverage, Arnold Palmer Iced Tea Lemonade.

I call it Asian Arnie because they put Asian characters on the can. The translation is probably something like "Green Tea Lemonade Drink" but I like to think it says "19 Holes in One Motherfuckers"

So it's like a regular Arnie but made with green tea. Spicy! (it's not spicy).

Jeff's Score*: 81
Varieties: The Can, 20 oz Recloser, a weird 45 oz bottle (rare), Giant Arnie
Availability: medium
Stores: City Convenience, Tedeschi, some 7-11s

*Jeff's Score is a weighted score where Regular Arnie is a 90, Redneck Arnie is a 20, the one Skinny Arnie I had that tasted like metal is a 0

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Bgood Burger of Death

We all went to bgood the other day. They make one of my favorite burgers, the El Guapo. That is what I got. When I order it, I add a second patty (only $.99 more!), and I also add cheese, because cheese is yummy. I take the second patty off and eat it as a side dish instead of fries. Bgood's thing is that their food is healthy. They use lean beef and bake their fries and stuff. My additions make the burger as unhealthy as possible. Here it is:

The El Guapo has lettuce, tomatoes, grilled jalapenos, and jalapeno ranch dressing.
So why is this post titled, "Bgood Burger of Death"? Well, I should say it was one of my favorite burgers.  That burger pictured above gave me food poisoning. I won't go into details, and thankfully I didn't take any pictures, but starting a couple hours after eating the burger, I had a very unpleasant evening. The only thing I ate before the burger was a Slurpee, and I doubt that caused it. Yup, I had a Slurpee for breakfast, you're jealous.

We also got some sweet potato fries. Connor helped us with them:

We tried to feed him some burger but he refused. Thank goodness, since I can't imagine a ten month old with food poisoning.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Loud Popcorn

Heather makes popcorn in a loud contraption almost every night. It annoys me because I can't watch TV during the loud noises. I complained tonight and she said, "Why don't you blog about it (nerd)!" I said "Check this out, lady." Then I typed all of this, then published it. I win.

Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos

I love Doritos. I don't buy them because I will just eat the whole bag. So when I heard Taco Bell had a new Dorito shell taco, I was so excited I rushed there two months later.

This is what I got:

I felt like having chicken, so I placed my order:

Me: "Umh, can I have one of those Doritos things with chicken"
Cashier: "Sure"
Manager (from the back): "That's one dollar extra!"
Me: "That's fine, I can swing it."

So I got the taco. It was $2.40. That's a big premium percentage for chicken. I took two bites and the thing disintegrated into a pile. I tasted no Doritos flavoring. I ended up throwing half of the taco away.

In other words, I was very disappointed.  The name of it is stupid too. I wish I had got a Meximelt instead. That's the best thing at Taco Bell.

The W

I finally tried the new burger, the W at Wendy's. Wendy's is probably my favorite of the big fast food places. But I've never lived too close to one, so going to one is like a treat. A really sad treat.

So I tried the W. Here it is:

It is two small patties, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions and special sauce. It's LTPOSS. I really liked it. It reminded me a lot of In-n-Out. I actually thought it was better than most burgers I get at Five Guys.

They also have the fancy soda machine that has 1,000 different sodas. So I was pretty happy. Connor helped me with the fries.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

El Pelon Taqueria

Hey Jeff, what's your favorite burrito?
Who are you? How do you keep asking me questions? No one knows about this blog. Ah, whatever, I'll answer it. If you made me pick I would choose El Pelon Taqueria. Though Anna's is close, so I feel bad about not mentioning them.

I went to El Pelon the other day and got my usual order, the Chicken Burrito with hot sauce. Here it is:

This is my favorite burrito because all of the ingredients are good. It has rice, beans, cheese, chicken, salsa, and lettuce. All of which on their own are really good (though I don't know what "good lettuce" means). The hot sauce is a little too hot for me, and I'm pretty good about handling hot things, so it's pretty hot. I usually regret getting the hot sauce, but not really.

El Pelon burned down a few years ago (again), then just reopened last year. I was happy. They have lots of other good stuff besides burritos.


That is the Ucheeseburger at Uburger. I believe it is the best burger in the world. It has lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions and special sauce. LTPOSS if you will.

Heather got the Hot Chick which is grilled chicken with buffalo sauce, lettuce, tomatoes and blue cheese ("On the side!" Heather said, of course).

Here's a pic of it:

As you can see, Heather took some bites, so there is a chicken peninsula. Anyway, that sandwich is really good, and not too bad for you ("On the side!" Heather said, of course).

We also got fries and onion rings, both are yummy. Connor had a fry:

So if you want the best burger in the world, go to Uburger. And, yes, I have had In-n-Out so I don't want to hear it, whoever you are since no one knows about this blog.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Jeff's First Filet-o-Fish

Hi. I'm Jeff. I had my first Filet-o-Fish(FoF) on March 25th 2012 at the age of 36. I am a fast food enthusiast, so after eating it I decided to start the world's dumbest blog and share my thoughts.

Why hadn't you had a FoF before then? Wait, who are you all of a sudden asking me questions? You have a lot of nerve, but I guess I will answer them. Well I used to really hate seafood. Over the last 15 years I have started eating some seafood. I usually don't like it, so I hardly ever order fish in restaurants. My wife orders fish a lot, so I usually try her dish. Now my opinions of seafood are:
  • Shrimp, I like a lot and do order sometimes.
  • Mild white fishes are OK, so I thought a FoF might be good.
  • Sushi I like, or should I say I like maki rolls. So I often eat some rolls with weird seafood I usually wouldn't want to eat.
Anyway, I was at McDonald's buying my dog a McDouble and they had a special, $3.33 for a FoF and a medium fry. I was going to get a fry for myself anyway, so I splurged and got a FoF too.

Wait, you were buying your dog a McDouble? Uh, yes, I just said that. I have the world's best dog. This is Suzy:

She hardly ever gets non-dog food. One exception is every year on her birthday, she gets a McDouble. Guess when her birthday is? You're good, it's March 25th. She turned 10 this year. Here she is eating the McDouble:

OK. But the suspense is killing me, what did you think of the FoF? Hey, calm down, I'm getting there.

First, here's the FoF I ate:

I was not impressed with the appearance.
Here's my thoughts:
  • So it is fried, has tartar sauce AND cheese? Way to keep it healthy McD's.
  • No, really I don't think the cheese is necessary, and I love cheese.
  • First bite: It was way fishier than I thought it would be. I didn't think it was very good. I didn't taste any cheese
  • I realized I didn't get any of the tartar sauce also.
  • Second bite: I got some tartar sauce. It masks a lot of the fishiness. Better. Still no cheese taste.
  • Still not good.
  • I had one more bite, then gave the rest to my wife. Her thought was "They tasted better when I was a kid."
So I guess my final thought on it was it was alright, but as unhealthy as it is, I would much rather have something else. In other words, I was jealous of my dog's food. To improve it, I would add some cole slaw instead of the cheese.