Sunday, September 2, 2012

Eggs: Scrambled Eggs

Whenever Heather and I are watching TV, and she sees Gordon Ramsay, she says, "Hey, there's your boyfriend." I usually mumble back: "That's not my boyfriend, jerk face." The reason she calls him my boyfriend is because I watch a bunch of his shows, like Hell's Kitchen, Masterchef, and Kitchen Nightmares. So, Heather is bombarded with me watching Gordon Ramsay, my apparent boyfriend. I need to point out that Hell's Kitchen is a horrible show. The editing is annoying, the people are just terrible cooks and I only watch it because it is a complete train wreck. By the end of the season, when all the idiots and really horrible chefs are gone, I usually lose interest. Also, Gordon's shows from the U.K., shown on BBC America, are much better than the Fox shows. He is a lot calmer, I prefer when my boyfriend is calm. If I didn't have a DVR, I would probably not watch any of my boyfriend's shows. Also, I preferred when Heather referred to Randy Moss as my boyfriend. Having the second greatest receiver of all time as my boyfriend is much better than having a guy that cooks as my boyfriend.


Eggs! Where are the eggs?
Alright, I'll get there. I used to never make scrambled eggs. They were always bad when I made them. Then I saw this video of my chef boyfriend making scrambled eggs. Now it's one of my favorite forms of egss to make. I made them the other day:



The secret to making scrambled eggs is to mix them up while you cook them, and take them off the heat, and mix them, then put them back on the heat, etc. watch the video if you want actual tips. Also, butter. Butter + eggs = yummy. If you watched that video, I changed his recipe in a few different ways:
  1. <--Numbers, I'm an awesome blogger. The first change is I take out half the yolks. This makes it taste worse, but makes the eggs a lot healthier.
  2. I omit the crème fraîche, because I usually don't have it, and I don't like it too much. So my eggs are drier, and less French.
  3. Gordon adds chives. I add green onions instead. Because chives are like $2 a bunch, green onions are $.70. I'm not made of money.
  4. He plates it with tomatoes on the vine and mushrooms. I hate mushrooms, so there's no way they are touching my plate. And I don't usually have tomatoes on the vine. So just some toast.
Objectively, all my changes make the scrambled eggs worse. But they make it easier for me, and healthier, and they are still pretty good. Anyway, that's how I make scrambled eggs. In conclusion, again, eggs :( 


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